


Belly Button

by Starlight713



Series: The Moments Between [2]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Drabble, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-11
Updated: 2016-11-11
Packaged: 2018-08-30 07:39:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8524294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starlight713/pseuds/Starlight713
Summary: Why in the hell would Cerberus give EDI a belly button anyways?!





	

                Joker thought that he had examined every inch of that mech body EDI had taken over. Yannow. For science. When she leaned over to help him up out of the cockpit, however, he noticed the circular protrusion smack in the middle of her torso—a tiny silver button. A literal belly button. Raised from the expanse of her chassis _juuuust_ enough where he had to wonder…

                “What are you looking at, Jeff?”

                “Hmm? Oh. Nothing. Hey EDI, what does that button do?”

                “Clarify?”

                “Here?” He let his index finger hover just over her bizarrely literal belly button.

                “I wouldn’t.” Her tone was deadpan, but something almost playful sparked in her eyes. The firings of those synthetic optic nerves gave off a faint flash under her holo-visor when her pupils dilated or constricted to mimic human expression. A little creepy at first, but it made it a lot easier to read her sometimes understated expressions. Humor, huh? Now he _had_ to know. The button depressed slightly under the pad of his finger.

                Immediately, EDI slumped over at the waist, arms limp, and head so far forward that he could see the cybernetic exo-spine ride up from her hips to where the bob of her hair ended.

                “EDI?”

                No response.

                “EDI, this isn’t funny.”

                No way _Cerberus_ —renegade terrorist cell and spooky scientist central—would place an off switch on their mech in such an obvious place. Right? _Right?_

Oh man. If she _hadn’t_ been kidding, he wasn’t sure what in the hell he’d done. He stretched around in his chair to try and press the button again. Turn her back on, maybe? He thumbed the button but nothing happened.

                “EDI, if this is a joke it’s not funny. _EDI,_ come _on.”_  

                Nothing.

                Shit. If this wasn’t a joke, it could take _hours_ to figure out what he had done and how to undo it. If they could undo it. Which they probably could, right? Maybe Tali could take a crack at her? Shit shit shit. He slumped back in his chair. Shit.

                “Heeeeeey _EDI_ , I’m messing with the controls.” He pressed some random keys on the control pad. He wasn’t signed into any systems, but she hated it when he pushed her buttons (literally). If she was kidding, she’d stand back up and brush his hand away any second now. “EDI, I’m screwing up our flight plan.”

                She didn’t even twitch.

                _“EDI,_ I’m inputting nonsense code! C’mon, this _has_ to be annoying you. Come on!”

                Shit shit shit shit shit.

                Nothing.

                Shit.

                He rubbed his hands over his face and groaned. Of _course_ he had to go and break his robot girlfriend. Just his luck, right? He finds someone who not only _shares_ his interest but _is_ his interest, and he breaks her by screwing around (and not even in the fun way). Shit. When they got her back up and running, she would _not_ be happy. She was going to be _soooo_ mad at him.

                _If_ they got her back up and running.

                _Shit_.

                He nearly jumped out of his skin when he raised his head up out of his hands to find EDI, not two millimeters away, with a wicked smirk across her lips. The synthetic synapses fired like crazy behind her visor.

                “I told you not to do that, Jeff.”

                He just stared for a second while he caught up. The upward quirk of the lips. The arched eyebrows. The teasing hum of her reprimand. It was the self-satisfied look on her face pushed him over the edge. Jeff Joker Moreau, genius Alliance pilot and un-prank-able prankster, burst into uncontrollable laughter.

 

Psh. Of _course_ that button didn’t do anything. Didn’t have _him_ fooled. Not even for a second.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this lovely snippet: http://anoia.tumblr.com/post/55226075891/whenever-i-look-up-edi-reference-every-time-im
> 
> If you want, my new Tumblr is here: http://starlightwrites.tumblr.com/


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